lilyofthevalley

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

what i learned today

YET TRUE GODLINESS WITH CONTENTMENT IS ITSELF GREAT WEALTH.

1 TIMOTHY 6:6

for me this verse means that no matter who we are in life, we should be contented. whether we are a teacher, gardener, lawyer or cleaner. material richness is not a guarantee for contentment but God is.

Posted at 06:23 pm by lilymae
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Friday, November 17, 2006

i come to you

there is a memory
very clear in my mind
its the day i found you
when you said you were mine
i never really thought
i belonged to somebody
but somehow when i met you
my tired soul is at home

i know this is a journey
knowing you is endless
most time ive pierced myself
have made many mistakes
even tried to run away
youre hard to understand
but somehow you understood me

so i come to you, come to you
again, again
thankful everytime that you never condemn
countless moments i dont feel alright
but one word from you
and peace flows inside

how can you love me so?
ive only caused you pain
most times im defeated
and your hands were always there
lies were comforting me
they say i am nothing
ive been weak most of the time
while your strength rescues me

how can you love me so?
i seem to know the answer
but still feel undeserving

Posted at 07:56 pm by lilymae
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Monday, November 13, 2006

retreat

i came from a very lovely weekend for my birthday. i really felt God's presence in the retreat. he has reveal new things to me. somehow though, at this moment, i feel so sad. i dont know why exactly. there are rumblings of discontent in my heart. i know i should just be thankful, but my human flesh cannot do that just yet.

daddy, please hang on there. i need you to just be there for me no matter what i feel. im tired. i need rest. when will i learn to just relax and chill? you said your yoke is easy and your burden is light. if i let go of this would i really be alright? i guess i should just trust. trust lily, trust.

Posted at 08:14 pm by lilymae
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Thursday, November 02, 2006

kids world

there are two lovely kids living below our flat. they come up and visit me almost every afternoon, especially the little boy. it pains me to think though that theyve been left by their parents with their nan. how can they when they are such lovely children? oh well. good old london. tube delays, rowdy schools, family breakdowns, 5 minutes of sunshine. but i love this great ciy, of kings and queens and jane austen. im a zombie at the moment. i look at the mirror and my eyes are surrounded with dark shadows. although last nights sleep was so much better than the previous ones.

Posted at 06:37 pm by lilymae
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Monday, October 30, 2006

new look

im loving my new look. funnily, i got the idea for a fringe (bangs) after watching 'the devil wears prada'. i was inspired to copy anne hathaway's look but couldnt afford to go to the salon so i cut the fringe myself. not bad i must say. gotta be skint for im back to the student days. no shopping, no mucking about the house doing nothing or any lazy weekends........for three years. but hey, lets look at the long term goal. a title to my name and a profession that i love. its worth the committment. nobody said it would be easy but its worth the big effort.

......

had a good day at work today. so good start for the next half-term. looking forward to xmas. hey, but first, my b-day is coming up. oh well. im getting older, and happier-at least i can say that. all these worrying about the future? its not worth it.

Posted at 05:57 pm by lilymae
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Sunday, October 29, 2006

space needle

i met this girl from seattle that goes to mars hill church. now i wonder why that sounds so familiar? :)

........

i officially started my diet. not physical diet, thought diet. its been working so far. now i have to face the fact that i will see him again and again and again, and he will look good again and again and again as always. and i will have to hold back again and again and again. pretend that i dont like him and that i dont realise that he likes me too again and again and again. to remind myself that God's ways are better again and again and again. and dont believe in the lie that compromising is the right thing again and again and again. i need to stop being selfish again. to be diligent in prayer again. i want him to know God. please lord, he can marry somebody else but dont let him go to hell. im fine being single, honest. (of course only by your grace can i say this)

.......

finally, im going to start my phd. for a while i doubted myself if i can really do it. its gonna be tough but im ready for it. lord, i know you instilled these desires in my heart. i pray ill pursue this dream with passion, knowing you are with me every step of the way.

Posted at 12:04 am by lilymae
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Friday, October 27, 2006

lovely pics courtesy of xyn xu

http://www.flickr.com/photos/xyn/

Posted at 11:31 pm by lilymae
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Wednesday, October 04, 2006

so fun!

Men See You As: A Difficult Challenge

You must be an incredible hottie...
Because it's the only way you can pull of the ice queen act
You're the type of woman that men love to chase
But if you don't stop running, you'll never get caught!

You Are 34% Scary

You scare men off ocassionaly, but only very weak men.
You're a normal woman. You're not perfect, but you're pretty darn close.

You're Almost Ready to Get Married, But Not Quite

No doubt that you've warmed up to the idea of marriage and life long love
You just aren't quite ready to follow up with your desires, yet.
You may be a bit young, or a bit commitment phobic... give it time.
Concentrate on guys who you can imagine being with next year. Forever can wait.

You Are Independent Sexy

You drive men crazy with your "playing hard to get act"
Except, it's really not an act at all.
You're a strong, sexy woman with her own life and interests.
And that makes men even more interested in you!

You Don't Need a Man ... or Want One!

Generally, you're very happy being a single woman.
And anyone who has a problem with that... well, that's there problem.
Not that you wouldn't share your life with the almost perfect guy.
You simply won't settle though. Your life is too good to share with some substandard man!

You Are Right Brained In Love

Bit of a drama queen
Peacemaker, first to end a fight
Good at thinking up creative dates
Tend to fall in love and get hurt easily
Going with your gut instead of your head
Emphathetic and caring, sometimes to a fault
Good at recognizing patterns in relationships
Been in love many times, perhaps too many to count
Wildly passionate and intense when falling in love
Spontaneous with relationships, going with the flow
Overly visual - can play back past dates like movies in your mind
Roses, love poems, and stuffed animals are a good start to winning your heart

You Are Los Angeles

Young and fun, you always know where the best parties are.
And while you tend to keep things carefree and casual...
You certainly can glam it up when you need to.

Famous people from Los Angeles: Tyra Banks, Jake Gyllenhall, Freddie Prinze Jr.

You Are More Mild Than Wild

You're confident, and you really aren't concerned with how "hot" you are.
Other people's ideas of what's sexy don't concern you. And this is exactly what makes you attractive.

Your Dominant Intelligence is Bodily-Kinesthetic Intelligence

You are naturally athletic and coordinated, good at making your mind and body work together.
Sports are fun and easy for you, especially those requiring good hand - eye coordination.
There's also a good chance you're a great dancer, or good at expressing yourself through body language.
You learn best by doing, and you feel like you've always got to be moving (even if it's just your hands).

You would make a good athlete, physical education teaches, dancer, actor, firefighter, or artisan.

Your Taste in Music:

90's R&B: High Influence
90's Pop: Medium Influence
R&B: Medium Influence
80's Alternative: Low Influence
80's R&B: Low Influence

Your Kissing Technique Is: Perfect

Your kissing technique is amazing - and you know it.
You have the confidence to make the first move.
And you always seem to know what kissing style is going to work best.
Sometimes you're passionate, sometimes you're a tease. And you're always amazing!

Your Pride Quotient: 21%

You're a little prideful, but nothing out of the norm.
Like everyone, you enjoy attention. But you're also good at sharing the spotlight!

Your Envy Quotient: 19%

Envious? You? No way!
You're happy with what you've got going on, and what someone else has doesn't change that.
When people succeed, you are happy for them. You know you'll get yours eventually!

Your Lust Quotient: 11%

Congratulations, you have your lust under control.
It's not that you aren't a lustful person, you just like to save it for the perfect occasion!

Your German Name is:

Isabella Astrid

Your Brain is 60% Female, 40% Male

Your brain is a healthy mix of male and female
You are both sensitive and savvy
Rational and reasonable, you tend to keep level headed
But you also tend to wear your heart on your sleeve

You Are 69% Feminine, 31% Masculine

You are in touch with your feminine side.
Sensitive, intuitive, and caring are all words that describe you.
And you're just masculine enough to relate to both men and women.

You Are 44% Intuitive

Your intuition is often right, and you use it more than you may realize.
Your gut feelings are usually a good guide, but you need more to go on when making a decision.
You'll often check to see if the facts back up your feelings.
And when your intuition is wrong, you work to improve it for the future.

You Are A Romantic Realist

You tend to be grounded when it comes to romance.
Sure, you can fall hard... but only for someone you've gotten to know.
And once you're in love, you can be a total romantic goofball...
But you'd never admit it to your friends!

You Are 55% Open

You are a fairly open person, but you also like to maintain your privacy.
You definitely will tell all (okay, almost all) to your closest friends...
But strangers and acquaintances only get a peek into your life.

Your Travel Profile:

You Are Somewhat Well Traveled in Scandinavia (40%)
You Are Somewhat Well Traveled in Western Europe (36%)
You Are Somewhat Well Traveled in the United Kingdom (25%)
You Are Mostly Untraveled in Canada (20%)
You Are Mostly Untraveled in Southern Europe (13%)
You Are Mostly Untraveled in Asia (8%)
You Are Untraveled in Africa (0%)
You Are Untraveled in Australia (0%)
You Are Untraveled in Eastern Europe (0%)
You Are Untraveled in Latin America (0%)
You Are Untraveled in New Zealand (0%)
You Are Untraveled in the Middle East (0%)
You Are Untraveled in the Midwestern United States (0%)
You Are Untraveled in the Northeastern United States (0%)
You Are Untraveled in the Southern United States (0%)
You Are Untraveled in the Western United States (0%)

....gives me the goal to do more travelling, hmmmm... i think i got to work more first

Your Driving Is is: 38% Male, 62% Female

According to studies, you generally drive like a typical female.
You are a careful, skilled driver. And you are patient in sticky driving situations.
You may get aggressive from time to time, but normally you're a cool, collected driver.

What Your Face Says

At first glance, people see you as warm and well-balanced.

Overall, your true self is reserved and logical.

With friends, you seem logical, detached, and a bit manipulative.

In love, you seem mysterious and interesting.

In stressful

You Are 40% Normal

While some of your behavior is quite normal...
Other things you do are downright strange
You've got a little of your freak going on
But you mostly keep your weirdness to yourself

You Are 48% Angry

Generally, you are not an angry person.
But you're easily frustrated and enraged. You have one heck of a temper.
And because of your anger, you tend to feel resentful and even spiteful.
You already know how to quell your anger. You just need to do it more often.

You Are 80% Pure

You're so innocent, it's almost like you're not human.
Taking this test is probably the naughtiest thing you've done in a while!

You are Milk Chocolate

A total dreamer, you spend most of your time with your head in the clouds.
You often think of the future, and you are always working toward your ideal life.
Also nostelgic, you rarely forget a meaningful moment... even those from long ago.

..... on the spot

You Have Your PhD in Men

You understand men almost better than anyone.
You accept that guys are very different, and you read signals well.
Work what you know about men, and your relationships will be blissful.

now, why do i like taking these tests again?

Guys Think You're Easy to Be With... But Not Easy

You're definitely a flirt - and a good one.
But you also know that you shouldn't make a move on any cute guy who passes by.
You save your seductive moves for someone who already knows the real you.
That way, your sex appeal is just part of the whole package.

Posted at 07:56 am by lilymae
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Tuesday, October 03, 2006

not too bad a forecast

You Will Die at Age 82

Congratulations! You take good care of yourself.
You're poised to live a long, healthy life.

....... but everything is in God's hands. so we must live our days as if it were our last, cliche but it cant be any more true.

Posted at 07:32 am by lilymae
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Monday, September 18, 2006

cravings

there is this feeling of such strong craving. a craving that you have to satisfy or else youll die. actually, either way is death. im strongly craving for this thing that i know is bad for me. but in my head im weighing the pros and cons of giving in to temptation. i know it will give temporary pleasure, it also has long term consequences that im not prepared to face. also, i think that the cravings are for fully selfish reasons. and so i shall fall silent over this emotional ordeal.

Posted at 06:31 pm by lilymae
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